Comparison is often called the thief of joy, but how many of us fall victim to it every day without even noticing? Logically, this phrase makes sense; we are all our own beings, but in practice, avoiding comparison is one of the hardest things to do, especially in college.

For as long as I can remember, my mom would always say, “Malak, stop comparing yourself to others.” Back then, I brushed it off and kept doing it anyway. But as grew older, I began to understand the wisdom in her words. I realized that comparison was, in fact, the thief of joy. Rather than pushing me forward and motivating me, it only made me feel inadequate. No matter what I accomplished, there was always someone who seemed to be doing better, leaving me stuck in a cycle of self-doubt.

This became even more apparent in college, where comparison felt inevitable. Going to a college like Tufts where I was surrounded by peers who were excelling in ways that I wasn’t. It always seemed like everyone was ahead of the curve and I was constantly falling behind. “I got a new internship,” “Isn’t this class so easy” “I have everything perfectly planned out.” All of these remarks would cloud my judgment of my capabilities and potential. Rather than working to better myself, I was solely focused on measuring my success against theirs.

I didn’t fully grasp the weight of this until I reached my third and fourth years of college, so fairly recently. I came to the realization that something had to change or else I would be trapped in this cycle for the rest of my life. By implementing self-reflection strategies into my dai routine, I began to ask myself questions like: “Am I truly measuring my success, or am I just looking at that of others”, “What progress have I made for myself, regardless of what everyone else is doing?”, “Am I living my life based on my values and goals, or someone else’s standards?.” These were questions I had subconsciously asked myself before, but putting them into writing and reading them out loud to myself really shifted my perspective and made a
significant impact on my outlook on the situation.

This was the moment when I truly began to understand the deeper meaning behind the ACE pillars—how they all centred around ‘self,’ self-manage, self-direct, self-advocate, and self-correct. At first, these ideas might have seemed simple or even basic, but as I reflected more, I realized just how impactful these practices are in developing a sense of self-worth and purpose.

Now, as a senior in college about to graduate and enter a whole new chapter in my life, I’ve learned the importance of celebrating my progress without allowing the achievement of others to be an obstacle to my dreams. I learned to have goals and aspirations while simultaneously admiring the successes of those around me.

To anyone reading regardless of your age: Your life is in your hands and the decisions you make should be a reflection of you. The sooner you let go of comparison, the sooner you’ll find joy in your achievements and worth.

Because, after all, comparison is the thief of joy—but only if you let it be.